• Understand Domestic Violence
• Review the Warning Signs
• Plan for Your Safety
• Call the Crisis Hotline
• Learn About SafeNest Counseling

Donate to Safe Nest!

Understand Domestic Violence

What is domestic violence? It takes many forms, but in general domestic violence is a pattern of violent and coercive behavior used by one partner in a relationship to control another. It affects all communities, regardless of income, race or religion. Domestic violence can include physical, emotional and sexual abuse, financial control and social isolation. Abusive partners use fear and intimidation to establish power and control over another person, including the threat or use of violence.

In Southern Nevada, families from all walks of life experience this (devastating problem), which impacts the safety and wellbeing of individuals, families, and communities. Safe Nest reaches thousands of people through counseling, confidential shelter, court advocacy, and education.

Read the following sections to see if you might be at risk, and learn about the path to safety and a promising future. You are not alone!

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Review the Warning Signs

If you recognize any or all of these signs in your relationship, you may be experiencing domestic violence.

Jealousy:
Has nothing to do with love; it is a sign of insecurity and possessiveness. Your partner questions every move you make; he may not let you go out alone and may limit your friendships with other people.

Controlling Behavior:
Your partner controls, or tries to control, everything in your life. The perpetrator makes all of the decisions about your home, finances, clothing and social activities.

Quick, Intense Romance:
Your partner claims it was "love at first sight" and pressures you to make a commitment.

Unrealistic Expectations:
Your partner is dependent on you for all of his needs and expects you to be the perfect lover, mother or friend. He says things like "If you love me....." and "I am all you need/you're all I need."

History of Abuse:
Your partner may say he has hit others in the past, but that the former partner "made him do it."

Isolation:
Your partner cuts you off from all resources and criticizes your family and friends for meddling in your relationship or being a bad influence. He may move you to a new town where you have no social connections.

Placing Blame:
Your partner says "you make me mad" and "you're hurting me by not doing what I ask."

"Jekyll and Hyde" Personality:
Your partner displays sudden mood swings. One moment he will be kind and loving; and the next cruel and possibly violent.

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Plan for Your Safety

If you are in a violent relationship, safety should be your first concern. Here are some basic steps to help ensure the safety of you and your children. Please call the Safe Nest Crisis Hotline at 702-646-4981 (a free call any time of day or night) for assistance in developing a, safety plan. Our staff and volunteers can help you sort through your situation and offer practical information to help you move forward—even if you are not yet ready to leave your relationship.

Safety-Planning Checklist

Phone List:

Put a list of important phone numbers in a safe location. Be sure to include contacts for the police, doctors, employer, and family and friends and the Safe Nest hotline.

Supportive Friends:

Keep a mental list of friends or neighbors that you can talk to about the abuse. Ask them to call the police if they hear angry or violent noises.

Your Children:

If you have children, teach them how to dial 911. Make up a code word that you can use when you need help.

"Safe" Phones:

Because long-distance phone calls appear on a phone bill, avoid making long-distance calls from home. (Cell-phone conversations may also be intercepted using a scanner.) Switch to a corded phone outside of your home if you are relaying sensitive information.

An Escape Route:

Plan and practice a safe exit from your home with your children.

"Even If" Preparation:

Even if you do not plan to leave, think of where you could go if you did.

Emergency Suitcase:

Put together an emergency bag using the checklist below. Hide it somewhere that is easy for you to access but difficult for your abuser to find.

If you are considering or planning to leave the relationship, fill in the blanks for the following items. This process will enable you to think logically if the situation escalates.

• Identify four safe places you can go if you leave your home.
• Identify a small group of people who can offer a safe place to stay or lend you money. Make plans for your pets if necessary.
• Open a post office box to receive your mail.
• Set aside cash and change for phone calls; consider getting a cell phone in your name.
• Open a bank account or a credit card in your name.
• Visualize how you might leave: Try doing things that get you out of the house—take out the trash, walk the family pet or go to the store. Practice the steps you would take in order to leave.
• Think about how to leave safely with your children. Remember that there are times when taking your children with you may put all of your lives in danger. You must protect yourself first to be able to protect your children.

Emergency-bag Checklist

• Money
• Keys to car, home, work
• Extra clothes
• Current medicines and refill information; personal hygiene products
• Personal Identification: Birth certificate(s), Social Security card(s), school and medical records, welfare identification, passports, green cards, work permits
• Legal Documents: Temporary protective order, divorce papers, custody orders, home rental/lease agreements, health insurance documentation
• Financial Documents: Credit cards, check books/bank statements, home rental/lease agreements or mortgage papers
• Vehicle Information: Driver's license, car registration, and insurance
• Items for Your children: Clothes, toys, medicines, blankets
• Pictures, jewelry and other things that are meaningful to you

Precautions After Leaving Your Partner

After taking the important first steps to leave your abuser and start a new life, you must continue to protect your safety—at home, at work, and when you travel. You may want to:

• Get a cell phone.
• Obtain a temporary protective order from Family Court. Keep a copy with you at all times. Give a copy to the police, childcare providers/babysitters, schools and your employer.
• Change the locks on your home or apartment. Consider installing stronger doors, smoke and carbon-monoxide detectors, a security system and outside lights.
• Tell friends and neighbors that your abuser no longer lives with you. Ask them to call the police if they see your abuser near your home or children.
• Provide a written list of people allowed to pick up your children to your childcare provider. If you have a temporary protective order that includes your children, give it to their teachers and babysitters.
• Inform someone at work about your situation. Ask that person to screen your calls. If you have a temporary protective order that includes where you work, consider giving your boss a copy of the order and a picture of the abuser. Think about and practice a safety plan for your workplace. This should include going to and from work.
• Identify someone that you can call if you feel down.
• Go over your safety plan often.

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Call the Crisis Hotline

Safe Nest operates a 24-hour Crisis Hotline with trained professionals and volunteers to assist callers with crisis intervention, ranging from safety planning to protection orders and obtaining safe shelter. If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

You do not need to be ready to take action when you call the hotline. Hotline counselors can help you explore options, provide referrals and just lend an ear. You may call "just to talk" about your situation or to get more information.

Safe Nest's Crisis Hotline is open to teens and adolescents. You can call our trained staff and volunteers to discuss your situation anytime. We can provide detailed information about where you can get help for yourself and/or your family.

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Safe Nest Counseling

Safe Nest offers individual and group counseling for victims, batterers and children. To learn more, click here.